i wondered if it's because i am too soft-hearted to turn down any things or what. the moment there's anything being offered to me or perhaps there's any requests that i need to do; i can't seem to turn them down. in fact, i would have this internal debate and mental stress that i don't wanna do them. oh boy~

today, i had to play for my uncle. i had to play the guitar after not touching it since i graduated. to tell the truth, i don't mind performing for him. however, i don't want to. why? i have no confidence... just simply no confidence. plus, even if i can play the instrument with moderate skills, i can't randomly play it with pleasant music coming out if you just dump me some random scores in front of me and the best part? i can't do chords.

well, i don't know. everyone said... 'just say 'no'' the trouble.. i had problems saying no. i think i have to practice saying no. even if i can make it. all issues shall be no from now on.

as many can guess... i got a handful from my uncle saying that i stood him up. well, not that i didn't warn him. my mobile was running low.. and plus, i left my wallet at home. -_- talk about unlucky. =_= classes ended late too.. sweat~! it ended at half past five and rushed to take the north-east line to go to chinatown.

AND I CAME TO KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW THE WAY... -_____-

i stared at the map hoping to find the place but oh well...

i don't know both the place and the location. only the name... =_= i don't think i can take a cab.. i don't even have my wallet. sigh~~~

my uncle said that i could have called him when i got home but, seriously... even if i can go there directly and at once, i have no more mood. i am so tired. i don't think i wanna go an play anymore. perhaps, it's my fault at this point?

anyways, standing him out is my fault. that's a point and a fact. am feeling guilty. sigh~

there's like a family gathering on saturday... and it's in his cafe too~! i don't think i have the pride to face him anymore and i don't know what and how to face him and his friends.. oh boy~ what a trouble~

this really is troublesome. all i want is a simple and easy lifestyle. T_T

sigh~~~~